Tick Talks

Running?

2007-06-04T06:25:00.000-07:00

Well, kids... since the political cirus of '08 is fast approaching (actually, who am I kidding? It's not fast approaching, it's just spilling into 2007!), I've been thinking about politics a lot lately. I've been thinking how our government is beholden to corporate America. I mean, can you think of one time where the government has sided with the little guy against a corporation in a Supreme Court case? Me either.

And with all these lobbyists crawling over Washington, virtually (and sometimes actually) writing legislation themselves to suit their corporate masters' needs, I've been thinking that next year's election is going to be a great time for the citizens of this great country to take America back from the corporations - like Sergeants and their new Sergeant's Gold Flea and Tick Squeeze-On for Dogs.

And did you hear? They're actually saying that it's faster than Frontline! Faster than Frontline? Great - now everybody will be buying it. So, this mega-corporation is producing chemicals that kill literally millions upon millions of Americans (well, American fleas, ticks and mosquitoes, anyway) - and nobody is doing anything about it!!!

So, I'm thinking that now is the time to come to the aid of the country and find a motivated person of the people to wrest control of this government from Sergeant's and its corporate ilk and return it to its rightful owners: you and me!

Stay tuned, kids... something big's afoot!

Worse than we thought?

2007-04-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note here, cats and kittens - i hear that Sergeant's is still testing Sergeant's Gold Flea & Tick Squeeze-On for Dogs... and that the results are far worse than we thought! Now, i don't have all the info yet (i've got some people on the inside feeding me the dirt!), but I hear that the active ingredient in this diabolical goo (called 'Gokilaht,' by the way - how cute. NOT!) kills fleas and ticks... wait for it... faster than the active ingredient in Frontline!!!

And add this to the fact that, unlike prescription-only Frontline, Sergeant's Gold Flea & Tick Squeeze-On for Dogs is available in grocery stores and at the local big-box mega mart... and you've got a recipe for mass extinction!!! Where's the Sierra Club and the Nature Conservancy now, eh? Off saving the whales, probably. Gee... I don't think a 200-ton blue whale has anything to fear from a little tube of goo. BUT WE DO! Why won't they "save" us? Not cute enough? Not mammalian enough?

Well those so-called do-gooders can go jump in a lake! That's why we created the FTMLO!

Fight the good fight!

Peace out!

Icky

Still here...

2007-04-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

Alright, brothers and sisters - this is where the rubber meets the road. Where the wheat is separated from the chaff. Where the clichés are separated from the platitudes. It's been a couple of months now since our little intifada started, and i know some of you are growing tired and maybe even a little bored. You may be eyeing other causes - Save Our Squirrels or Citizens United Against Cat Juggling, for instance - but let me remind you: we're just getting started!

Millions of our six- and eight-legged brethren still die every day, slaughtered by so-called flea and tick control products such as the new Sergeant's Gold Flea & Tick Squeeze-On for Dogs (i can barely bring myself to type the name - especially with these darn pincher-gloves!). So what are we going to do about it? We're going to say it loud and say it proud: we're the FTMLO and we're going to keep telling the truth about these products until the whole world sits up and takes notice!

Peace out.

Icky Lyme

The FTMLO Takes Over the Press Conference

2007-03-12T06:50:00.000-07:00

Check it out, kiddies!

Fight the Good Fight!

2007-03-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, gang - we've got them on the run! We can't get complacent, just because we caused such a media sensation at Global Pet Expo '07. Sure, that was a resounding victory, up there with Agincourt or Midway, but a battle won doesn't mean the war is over.

So, are you still with me, brothers and sisters? Are you committed to supporting the FTMLO in its mission to protect the huddled masses of bugs, yearning to breathe (and breed) free? I hope so, because we're not going away.

Stay tuned, my friends and fellow freedom fighters. You haven't heard the last of us. In fact... some say that this is only the beginning.

Yours entomologically,

Icky Lyme

Success!!!

2007-02-27T11:56:00.000-08:00

You should have seen it, people! We were at the Global Pet Expo in Orlando, Florida, in force!

We interrupted the press conference that was to announce the launch of Sergeant's Gold Flea & Tick Squeeze-On for Dogs! We marched right up to the podium, where I grabbed the mic from the Sergeants flack and told the world the truth about this deadly product! Oh, it was quite a site, alright! I'm still giddy!!!

And later that day we staged a bug-in at their trade show booth. We signed up fellow believers and gave out FTMLO.org stickers. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

But we're just getting started! Keep your scintillating compound eyes glued to this blog to learn when and how we're going to take the fight to the enemy!

Peace out!

Icky Lyme

Today's the Day!

2007-02-23T06:11:00.000-08:00

It's all happening, brothers and sisters!

We're down in Orlando for the Global Pet Expo to confront the enemy head-on! In a couple of hours the whole world (or at least the pet industry press) will know of our struggle to call attention to the plight of our multi-legged, hard-shelled friends!

We're organized. We're motivated. And we're not going away!

Make sure you check back to see how it went!

Peace,

Icky Lyme

The First Blow Has Been Struck!

2007-01-29T08:22:00.000-08:00

Well, I see our little "adventure" the other night was caught by the security cameras at Sergeant's. That's too bad - BUT it was picked up by local media - which means word of our cause has been spread throughout the greater Omaha metro area! And now it's even on the World Wide Web!

Check it out, brothers:

Click here to see the video on YouTube, if the above link isn't working.

Some feedback, eh?

2007-01-29T08:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I see a few of you are less than sympathetic to our cause. You think we're a joke. We'll, you won't be laughing soon. We're going places. We've got plans! You'll see...

By the way, a friend of mine in the press (I can't say whom, for obvious reasons) received a press kit from Sergeant's on their new product, Sergeant's Gold Flea and Tick Squeeze-On for Dogs. Oh, it was beautifully designed and well-written, alright - but no matter how you dress it up, you can't hide the fact that they're advertising a product that is designed specifically to kill fleas, ticks and mosquitoes by the thousand! Well, we've got a press kit, too. It may not be fancy, but I think it gets our point across pretty well.

Thanks for the positive comments, by the way. I see that not everyone out there in cyber-land is a heartless automaton and pawn of the death merchants who run the canine insecticide industry.

Peace out.

Ichabod.

By any means necessary

2006-12-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

We, the members of the Flea, Tick and Mosquito Liberation Organization (FTMLO), cannot sit idly by while our six- and eight-legged brethren are hunted down and killed like animals by ill-informed humans who are at the mercy of the fear-mongering pet supply industry!

As a platform from which to shout our message and keep you, gentle reader, informed on all things FTMLO, we have entered the blogosphere with our latest endeavor: Tick Talks!